When it comes to a wedding, there is bound to be some excitement in the mind of the ones who get married. Pre-wedding anxiety is a common feature in people now than ever before. Experts believe that such jitters are expected and a healthy sign of human emotion before the marriage takes place. Anxiety coupled with the nervous element can cause these butterflies to flutter in your stomach and it is a very natural phenomenon both in men and in women. However the reasons and the types of jitters in both may differ.
Some people think that pre-wedding jitters a sign that there is a grave problem in a promising relationship or that one of the two has changed his/her mind about getting married. Actually the truth is that the pre-wedding jitters do not necessarily imply that you are entertaining second thoughts about the person that you are planning to spend the rest of your life with. Jitters are probably a cause of an unknown fear as the date approaches closer and closer. While you know that the person that you are marrying is the best for you, jitters are a hurried way of irrational imaginations about the pitfalls of the changes that may be caused due to the marriage. Marriage is perceived to change the way you conduct yourself, the way you live, determine your friends and who you are friendly with, the new family you might be gaining and how you are expected to cope with that. It is in short the fear of the unknown domain.
Some people just realize that they were very happy with the engagement part and with the wedding date approaching, they wish things were that way and did not change. Some men make a comparison of being a bachelor with having a free styled attitude — doing whatever they want to do on their own terms, when they want to do it without considering any baggage. Being a bachelor is delightful for hanging out with the guys and implies fun times. On the other hand marriage may feel like walking into a completely new role, with new responsibilities and many men wonder if they will be able to cope up with this drastic change of their free wheeled identity.
We at Goa Wedding Info are keen to see that wedding couples all over the world do not raise their anxiety levels to insatiable proportions and are therefore keen to provide you with some fine tips to ensure that your pre wedding experience is with the minimum of stress.
Some tips that we can suggest you to get pre wedding jitters out of your system are
(1) Some understanding does help
Pre wedding is a time when you feel that the engagement process was much better and that a wedding is probably unnecessary. You suddenly picture yourself in the guise of a married person and add to your little head all the wild imaginations possible about the pressures of staying married.
Relax. Tell yourself, this is what you have always wanted. This is what you have been dreaming of. Talk to yourself and remind yourself of the times when you felt that marriage was the best thing to happen to a human being. Remember that although marriage brings in responsibilities it also brings in a lot of happiness that singles crave for, but may not get. Tell yourself that you cannot afford to remain single forever and that it would also mean dragging your partner against his/her wish. Tell yourself that you need to enjoy this moment which comes once in a lifetime for many people. Call yourself lucky.
(2) Avoid doubting your partner
Sure you are having a hard time coping with the stress of your wedding. But this may not be the time to cast aspersions or doubts about your partner or accusing him/her. Unless you have irrefutable evidence it is not a time for you to doubt your partners fidelity. Doubting your fiancés love for you is another pre wedding blunder. Keep the dramatics of love fights to a minimum during the pre wedding time as the stress itself is big enough
(3) Give each other the space of being heard
The excitement of a wedding can blind you to normal behaviors and you tend to jump to decisions without evaluating them. It is quite possible that you have been doing too much talking and put your partner only on the listening wavelength. Lack of voice in pre wedding times can often lead to harsh conclusions in the mind of the other person and may contribute heavily to pre wedding jitters. Now is the time to encourage your partner to share what is on his/her mind. Take his/her opinion and make a decision in unison. Planning a wedding is much more fun this way.
(4) Give the “wedding chatter” a break
It is quite possible that constant wedding talk can hit your nerves and get you completely overwhelmed. Your partner may want a small break from this sudden routine imposed on the two of you and you should try and encourage a sudden departure from the wedding mood and get to talk on work, sports, etc. talk about other things like normal times just the way you did in your courtship days. It can add some zest in your planning and vitalize you with fresh energy as well.
(5) Relive your courtship fun
The wedding planning has brought a set of demands form the two of you. In all this perhaps you have forgotten to do the simple things that brought you two close to each other in the first place. Simple things like holding hands, going out and chatting over coffee, going out for a movie may have been put on the mat by you in preference to wedding chores such as deciding venues, ceremonies, décor, food etc.
You have to remember that the simple things which the two of you did remain the most important things in your hearts and you have to recognize that and ensure that these things are not neglected. Do not neglect to love each other during your most stressful times
While the simple, familiar things may seem insignificant to you, they may mean the world to your fiance, as they serve to remind him of why he fell in love with you in the first place and what’s special about your relationship. Help him kick the pre-wedding jitters by showing him that you are interested in continuing with the very activities and interests that brought the two of you close. Though your time may be limited with all of the wedding planning, it is worth it to reaffirm your relationship and refocus on the things that matter the most.
One of the easiest ways of reducing the pre-wedding stress is to have a day out exclusively with each other. Make time for each other. Going out to your favourite haunt and spending out some time together can work wonders. It can increase the wedding preparation levels to a substantial level and make the day to day events leading to the wedding even more comfortable.